1) I love being outside. Something about being in nature and the smells of the air and the feel of the grass between my toes (I love to be barefoot outside). It brings back memories, flashbacks, and things long forgotton. My childhood went by fast so these memories are things that I stop close my eyes and cherish for the moment and then tuck them away until they come again. My children have taken after that. If they had it their way they would be outside rain or shine, cold or hot, day or night.
2) I am extreamly insecure. I come off like I have all the confidence in the world but when you get down to it. I am always seeking approval and I really do care what people thing about me. I get scared and upset if somebody doesn't like me and I find reason to cause a problem if they do. I try to be nice and accepting of others when really I unknowingly search for flaws that people have to make myself feel better. (don't get me wrong, I never speak to people about what I think their flaws are I keep them to myself for my own self uplifting) It is a struggle that I work on.
3) I am a Christian. I am not perfect. I try to do what God tells us to do and I try to be a good influance. I go to church every sunday but I must admit I don't know if I would if my husband weren't the worship leader. He supports me and gets me up to go. But sometimes I just don't really want to. I have only missed church 3 times in the last 3 years 1 I was sick and 2 I was on a trip with the church.
4) I am poor but I don't mind. Not that it matters but for some reason people think that my husband and I have loads of money and that is why I am a stay at home mom. False. We are so poor we are in the poverty lines according to our government. We live paycheck to paycheck and I don't see that changing unless God blesses us. We live in a small 2 bedroom apartment and our children share a room. People call us for money all the time. But I don't mind. The way I see it we are in this situation for a reason. This is right where God wants us to be. If he has better things planned then the opportunitys will present themselves so we can make choices. I have roof, a car, a tv, a computer, I go to school and I am 23. I think I'm doing pretty good.
5) I love my children... We all do but Myla just makes my day interesting she's the hyper pay attention to me one. and my son... Well... I was really upset when I found out I was going to have a boy. I didn't want one. but it wasn't my choice. and He just melts my heart. I was just laying him down for his nap and everyonce in a while he'll want me to lay down with him so I did and he rubbed my back while I hummed to him... They way he likes it. Mr. Independant. If I were to rub his back he'd get upset. and He doesn't hum. My daughter is still awake by the way like I said the hyper one. But she lights up my life and makes every day an adventure.
6) I am a student. I may never work but I go to school. Why? you ask. Because I will not be a wife that stays at home and gets no foundation. You never know what the day may hold. You never know if your going to get a phone call saying that "there's been an accident" and then be a single mom with kids and no education so you have to get some job that doesn't pay much and struggle for the rest of your life.
I am not that stay at home mom. I will be prepared for anything.
7)I am trying to lose weight. I weigh too much. I didn't use to but after having my kids I guess I just packed on the pounds. I start weight watchers today... The way I see it is at least I'm not fat and sitting around being fat I'm fat trying to do something about it. I go to the gym everyother day but that doesn't seem to help so maybe this plan will work.
8) I love music. I sing I dance I play the piano I act I everything. I'm not the best but I'm good at it. I sometimes feel that I don't get to express myself like I want to and that other people are more concerned about themselves and they do everything (especially at church) I am only allowed to do drama while others do EVERYTHING. it has become the (people's name) show. I'm not mean enought to write names on here but I feel that way sometimes. I feel that it should all be done for God and that everyone should be allowed to do things not just certain people.
9) I love to make cards and scrapbook. I am a stampin up demonstrator( actually I'm pending this month so if anyone wants to generouslly buy something from me let me know) :) It is kind of my outlet my children do it will me well my daughter does my son just gets in the way. I am hoping to have more time when this semester is over because I will be done with school for a while. I'll have my associate's degree.
10) Last but no least. I am still searching for the real me. I lost myself sometime ago and I am trying to find things that I like again without getting other peoples opinions and without people telling me that it is dumb or stupid. I used to be influanced by what other people thought but I am working on that and that is one of my greatest struggles.